What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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