take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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