don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
me + whiskey = a bad person
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
