just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
