We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
