Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
