not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
