hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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