I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
