im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
