please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
