she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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