We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
