It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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