she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
