is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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