Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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