You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
