my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
