Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
