Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
