dude i'm inner monologue high
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
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Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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