dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Your penis caused this!
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