I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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