considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
