So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
