Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
