so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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