Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
