there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
