i think my tv is drunk
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize