Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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