I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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