Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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