I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
