i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I am available for nakedness
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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