No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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