The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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