So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
