just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
