He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
