walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
