worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That accounts for only three of the penises
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
