The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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