so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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