i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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