He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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