Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
