I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
