I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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