Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it because I queefed?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
