You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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