I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
