What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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