That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
