Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
