he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
