If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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