We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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