Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
