My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
