I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
