Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
