haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
