so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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