It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
