Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
