OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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