I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
