How'd it feel making her break her religion?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's never too late to be topless.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
