i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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