Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
